A Venn Diagram of Nerdiness; Or, My Cat Lady Problems Meet My Bookworm Problems

Usually, owning cats is a delight. But sometimes, cats are not conducive to the reading life. Observe:

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Assholes
  1. Every book I borrow ends up with cat fur in it. The longer I keep a book, the fuzzier it gets.
  2. My cats don’t understand what I’m doing when I stare at my iPad or a book. They think I’m not busy:
    1. Ari (the white and brown one) will sit in the gutter of print books.
    2. Both cats will touch or brush my iPad screen with their ears and turn the page on me.
    3. Mogwai (the tabby) like to try and curl up in my arms while I’m reading, so I end up trying to read around his fat head.
  3. A sleeping cat in your lap increases your desire to nap exponentially, thus decreasing the time available to read.
  4. Books with bookmarks sown into the binding are basically cat toys.
  5. My cats have learned that I love neat, organized shelves and that they can get my attention by knocking books off the shelf one…by…one.
  6. Just try juggling a book, a mug of tea, and a cat that wants scritches.
  7. Mogwai sometimes thinks turning pages is a game. And he wants to play, too.
  8. Both cats have a bad habit of getting lost in the cupboards just when I get to an exciting part or am ten pages from the end of a book. Sometimes I read on before I go rescue them.
  9. Scent-marking any books that comes in the house. All pets are secretly engaged in chemical warfare with each other and books are just another battlefield. It’s just weird.
  10. And for the triple crown of dorkiness: the cats will often try and climb inside my cardigan when I’m reading.
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